Ryan Murphy, do not pass go, do not collect $200. You’re going straight to jail for having Emma Roberts proclaim on the latest season of American Horror Story that she “fucked Tom Sandoval” to land an appearance on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen.
First off, we have so many questions, like, when was this scene written? Before or after Scandoval, which saw the Vanderpump Rules star embroiled in a viral controversy after he cheated on his longtime girlfriend with their costar? And why him and not one of the many other hot Bravolebrities?
The new season, Delicate, premiered September 20, 2023 at 10:00 p.m. on FX, and will stream next-day on Hulu. In it, Roberts plays Anna Victoria Alcott, a rising actress dealing with fertility complications.
In the first episode, Anna books an appearance on Andy Cohen’s famed talk show, with the help of her publicist, Siobhan Corbyn, played by a shockingly impressive Kim Kardashian.
“Oh my god, this just came in,” Siobhan tells Anna early in the episode. “Andy Cohen wants to interview you, alone, without even a Bravolebrity in the other chair.”
Anna is hesitant to accept the invite, as it happens to occur on the same day as her planned fertility appointment, but she does anyway because why wouldn’t she? She can get her eggs scooped any day!
And boy, was it a good choice. Because despite being haunted by a ghost (?) and thoughts of her partner’s late girlfriend, Anna nails her talk show appearance and strikes an electric chemistry with Cohen, who appears in the episode as himself.
“Help me welcome the star of the most upsetting movie I have seen in a long time,” Cohen says, introducing Anna to the show. “I loved this movie, even though I have not slept a wink since I saw it!”
She jokes back, “I have not slept a wink since we shot it!”
The host goes on to say, “This part is so good, it seems that any actress would kill for it.” Anna keeps up with the banter, offering, “Andy, you are absolutely right, and I did kill somebody for the part. But I can’t tell you who — I can give you a hint though, no one will miss him.”
Is Anna being truthful or not? Did she really kill somebody? We hope she didn’t, but honestly, who knows? It’s American Horror Story, crazier things have happened!
Cohen continues the bit, adding, “I know, Tom Sandoval!” Ouch, epic burn. And Anna goes,”Aww, no! But I fucked Tom Sandoval to get on this show!” She plays coy and asks if she is allowed to “say that” on the show while the audience laughs.
After Anna appears to zone out, the scene cuts to Siobhan reassuring her that she was “good” and “charming” during her talk show appearance. All is well until Anna finds a blonde doll — which resembles her — in Siobhan’s office, for the second time. It is unclear where the doll is coming from, but we suspect that’ll be a continual plot line. Dun, dun, dun!
But, going back to the Sandoval stuff, pull out your tiniest violins! Tom, put some ice on that burn because that was brutal. We’ll be sure to send flowers to the funeral!